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    بیویوں کی قسمیں

    گھاٹ گھاٹ کا پانی پئے ہوئے اور بیویوں کے ڈسے ہوئے چند دانشوروں اور داناﺅں نے اپنے تجربات کا نچوڑ بیان کرتے ہوئے فرمایا کہ دنیا میں طرح طرح کی بیویاں ہوتی ہیں، اب یہ اپنے اپنے نصیب کی بات ہے کہ کس کو کس طرح کی بیوی مل جاتی ہے۔ ان دانشوروں کے بیان کی روشنی میں ہم یہاں چند ایسی بیگمات سے آپ کا تعارف کراتے ہیں جو اپنی مثال آپ ہوتی ہیں۔ عین ممکن ہے کہ آپ کو ہمارے خیالات اور داناﺅں کے تجربات سے اتفاق نہ ہو، لیکن کسی کی بات سننے میں کوئی حرج نہیں۔

    ​تلخ زبان بیویاں
    عام تاثر یہ ہے کہ ادیبوں، دانشوروں اور شاعروں کی اپنی بیویوں سے نہیں بنتی۔ اس سلسلے میں عظیم فلسفی سقراط، عظیم دانشور شیخ سعدی اور عظیم شاعر مرزا غالب کے نام سرفہرست ہیں۔ ان کی بیگمات کے مزاج اور زبان نے اپنے اپنے شوہروں کا ناطقہ بند کررکھا تھا۔ یہ مصرعہ شاعر نے زوجہ محترمہ ہی کے لیے کہا تھا: ناطقہ سر بگریباں ہے“ اسے“ کیا کہیے۔ تیور دیکھ کر بات بدل دی۔ سقراط نے تو ’آ بیوی مجھے مار‘ کے مصداق خود ہی شہر کی سب سے زیادہ تندخو اور تلخ مزاج عورت کو تلاش کرکے اس سے شادی کی۔ مقصد یہ تھا کہ بیوی کی طعنہ زنی اور نشتر چبھونے کی خاصیت کے ذریعے اپنے صبر و حوصلہ کی تقویت میں مزید اضافہ کیا جائے۔ وہ عورت انتہا درجے کی بدمزاج تھی اور سقراط سے بہت سخت برتاﺅ روا رکھتی تھی۔ سقراط اس کی تلخ و تند باتیں سن سن کر خوش دلی سے مسکراتا اور نرم انداز میں جواب دیتا۔ ڈھیر ساری سلواتیں سہہ لینے کے بعد وہ انتہا درجے کی برداشت کا خوگر ہوگیا۔ اس کا کہنا تھا کہ وہ اپنی بیوی کو ضبطِ نفس کا ذریعہ تصور کرتا ہے۔ شیخ سعدیؒ ایک نابغہ روزگار شخصیت تھے۔ سبق آموز حکایات اور اقوال پر مشتمل انہوں نے کئی کتابیں لکھ ڈالیں جو ہر طرح کے پڑھنے والوں کے لیے مشعلِ راہ ہیں۔ ان کے بارے میں بھی کہا جاتا ہے کہ اگر بیوی بدمزاج نہ ہوتی تو سعدی شعر و ادب کے خزانے میں اس قدر بیش بہا اضافہ کرپاتے نہ گلستاں و بوستاں کھلا پاتے۔

    بیویوں کی ستم رانیوں کا شکار ہونے والی عظیم ہستیوں میں مرزا غالب بھی شامل ہیں۔ غالب خستہ تن عمر بھر بیوی کے سلوک کے شاکی رہے۔ اپنے خطوط میں انہوں نے اپنی ازدواجی زندگی کو ناکام و نامراد قرار دیا ہے۔ ایک دوست کی بیوی کے انتقال پر لکھتے ہیں کہ تم خوش قسمت ہو کہ بیڑی کٹ گئی، یہاں تو برسوں سے ایک ہی بیڑی پاﺅں میں پڑی ہے۔ ایک شخص ایک ملنگ کی خدمت میں حاضر ہوا اور بڑی عاجزی سے عرض کیا: ”ملنگ بابا! میری بیوی ہر وقت مجھ سے لڑتی رہتی ہے۔ اس کا کوئی حل بتائیں“۔ ملنگ بابا پہلے تو ہنسی، پھر روئے اور پھر نہایت دل گرفتہ لہجے میں بولی: ”بیٹا! اگر اس کا کوئی حل ہوتا تو میں ملنگ کیوں بنتا“۔ عام آدمی کے ساتھ تو مشکل یہی ہے کہ وہ ملنگ بھی نہیں بن سکتا۔ اسے تو یونہی روتے دھوتے جیون گزارنا ہے۔

    شوقین بیویاں
    دعوتوں اور شادی بیاہ میں بننا سنورنا تو ہر عورت کا شیوہ ہے، لیکن اپنی تیاریوں میں وہ اس قدر وقت لگا دیتی ہیں کہ نصف بدتر پریشان ہوکر رہ جاتا ہے۔ مگر بعض لوگ اس پریشان کن صورت حال سے سمجھوتا کرنے کا فن بھی جانتے ہیں۔ مثلاً ایک صاحب کو سخت گرمی میں گرم سوٹ پہنے دیکھا گیا جو باہر سڑک پر سگریٹ پر سگریٹ پھونکتے ہوئے شدت سے کسی کا انتظار کررہے تھے۔ لوگ حیرت اور تعجب سے انہیں دیکھتے گزر جاتے۔ ایک شخص سے رہا نہ گیا اور پوچھ بیٹھا: ”خیریت؟ اس قدر شدید گرمی میں گرم سوٹ؟“ ان صاحب نے بڑے شگفتہ لہجے میں جواب دیا: ”دراصل میری بیوی کو میرے ساتھ شاپنگ کے لیے جانا ہے۔ وہ بڑی دیر سے تیاری کررہی ہے اور مجھے یقین ہے کہ جب تک اس کی تیاری مکمل ہوگی، سردی کا موسم آچکا ہوگا“۔

    شوہر پرست بیویاں
    کاروباری سلسلے میں ایک صاحب کسی دوسرے شہر کو چلے۔ ہوائی جہاز نے جب مطلوبہ شہر میں لینڈ کیا تو ایئر ہوسٹس نے اخلاق اور مہمان نوازی کا مظاہرہ کرتے ہوئے پوچھا: ”سر! آپ کو ہمارے جہاز کا ماحول کیسا لگا؟“ وہ صاحب مسکرائے اور اِدھر ادھر دیکھنے کے بعد فرمایا: ”بالکل اپنے گھر جیسا۔ وہاں بھی مجھے کوئی نہیں پوچھتا“۔ شوہر نے بیوی سے کہا ”جلدی سے کھانا لے آﺅ، بھوک کی وجہ سے پیٹ میں چوہے دوڑ رہے ہیں“۔ بیوی نے جواب دیا ”کھانا تو ابھی تیار نہیں ہے، تم ایسا کرو کہ جب تک چوہے مار دوائی کھاتے رہو، کم از کم چوہے تو مرجائیں گے“۔

    بہادر بیویاں
    ایک شیر بڑے فخر کے ساتھ اپنی بڑائی بیان کررہا تھا۔ جب وہ اپنے تمام قصے کہانیاں بیان کرچکا تو چوہے پر مزید رعب جمانے کے لیے کہا ”تمہیں معلوم ہے میں کون ہوں؟ میرا نام لے کر مائیں اپنے بچوں کو ڈراتی ہیں“۔ چوہا جو دیر سے شیر کی لن ترانیاں سن رہا تھا سینہ تان کر بولا ”اور بچے میرا نام لے کر ماﺅں کو ڈراتے ہیں“۔

    خوش فہم بیویاں
    اب کچھ ایسی معصوم اور سیدھی سادی بیویوں کا بھی ذکر خیر ہوجائے جو اپنے چالباز شوہروں کی شرارتوں کا نشانہ بن جاتی ہیں۔ ایک صاحب نے اپنی بیوی کو خوش کرنے کی خاطر کہا ”عید پر میں تمہیں کوئی خاص تحفہ دینا چاہتا ہوں، بتاﺅ کیا دوں؟“ بیوی خوشی کے مارے پھول کر کپا ہوگئی اور اس خوش فہمی میں مبتلا ہوگئی کہ شوہر اسے کوئی قیمتی تحفہ دے گا۔ اس نے بڑی ادا اور ناز کے ساتھ کہا ”کوئی سونے کی چیز دے دیں“۔ شوہر بازار سے تکیہ خرید لایا۔ ایک خاتون نے اپنی بیماری کا ذکر خوب بڑھا چڑھا کر شوہر کے سامنے کیا۔ اس کا خیال تھا کہ شوہر اسے کسی بڑے اسپتال میں لے جائے گا اور بڑے بڑے ماہر ڈاکٹر اس کے مرض کی تشخیص کریں گے۔ بیوی نے اپنی التماس میں مزید تاثر پیدا کرنے کے لیے دلگیر لہجے میں اور آنکھوں میں آنسو بھرتے ہوئے کہا ”ایسا لگتا ہے کہ میں اس بیماری سے جانبر نہ ہوپاﺅں گی، اور اگر علاج پر توجہ نہ دی گئی تو عنقریب انتقال کرجاﺅں گی“۔ شوہر نے بڑی توجہ سے بیوی کی فریاد سنی اور رقت بھرے انداز میں کہا ”اگر تم مرگئیں تو میں جی کر کیا کروں گا۔ میں بھی مر جاﺅں گا“۔ بیوی نے اس کے منہ پر ہاتھ رکھتے ہوئے کہا ”خدا نہ کرے، میری عمر بھی تمہیں لگ جائی، تم کیوں مر جاﺅگے؟“ شوہر نے اپنے چہرے کو افسردہ بناتے ہوئے کہا ”تمہاری موت میں برداشت نہ کرپاﺅں گا اور شادی مرگ میری جان لے لے گی“۔

    خوش فہمی میں مبتلا لڑکیاں بھی حسن و جمال میں اپنے آپ کو یکتا سمجھتی ہیں۔ اخبار میں ایک اشتہار شائع ہوا کہ ایک کروڑپتی اور خوب صورت نوجوان کے لیے رشتے کی ضرورت ہے۔ ایسی لڑکی کو ترجیح دی جائے گی جو اس نوجوان کے تصنیف کردہ ناول کی ہیروئن سے مشابہ ہو۔ دو دن کے اندر اندر بازار سے اس ناول کی تمام جلدیں فروخت ہوچکی تھیں۔

    متفرقات: اب آخر میں داناﺅں کے چند زریں خیالات
    1۔ سنا ہے، جنت میں شوہر کے ساتھ بیویوں کو نہیں رہنے دیا جائے گا۔ جنت اسی لیے تو جنت بن جائے گی (شوہروں کے لیے) بیویوں کی جنت علیحدہ ہوگی جہاں وہ اپنی مرضی کی مالک ہوں گی۔
    2۔ خاوند کو غلام بنانے والی عورت آخر غلام کی بیوی ہی کہلائے گی۔ دانا بیویاں اپنے شوہر کو دیوتا بناتی ہیں اور خود دیوی کہلاتی ہیں۔

    آرڈر

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    Tehreem Fatima

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